Frustration...procrastination....explanation

I am incredibly frustrated with my self.... and others around me. The department management has left me in a fit of frustration, but I will get over it.... already have actually.... and I need to not feed the ego in me and let it go. I have whined on enough about the incompetency of my immediate "manager"... going so far as to go over his head to his boss about his incompetency. His response.... to feed my ego with praise and adulation, and respect. He did that part of his job well. However reflecting back on what Tolle has taught me.... that may have been the result I wanted, and to be honest...yes it is.... but it has really done nothing to change my view of him. In fact it has left with me the positive reinforcement that now he owes me and I have a role of power over him. That is the wrong place for him and me to be in. Granted, I have little respect for him as a manager, but I feel I have given him plenty of opportunities to change my opinion of him, because eventually little boys grow up. All that being said, I remind myself daily that I never wanted that job and in fact turned it down three times. I like what I do... and I am good at it... and I never wanted to manage people. Amazingly, he does that part well.... he even called me on overstepping my bounds clinically.... although I can do well to justify my actions, I was in fact wrong, and recognize that I was wrong. and will never do it again. I can learn from my errors, but it was my self awareness that made me recognize my error, not his mention of the act.

Procrastination has become my ally. I put off planning a party... now the party isn't going to happen at all... YEAH !! If I would have spent hours planning only to have the event cancelled I would have been frustrated.... instead I was able to enjoy my time off and got rewarded none the less. win win----this time. Procrastination is usually my enemy, forcing my hand at the last minute, grrrrr I hate that about me. For almost a year I have put off things attributing the down time needed to stress. OK I had some stress.... but I have ALWAYS been a horrible procrastinator.... remember the Christmas dresses that arrived sometime between Christmas and New Years.... the overnight expensive packages sent to save face.... One year I even wrapped everything in aluminum foil because I was so far behind schedule I did not Even have time to shop for wrapping paper! My New Years resolution is to change that.... OK I know it is August, but resolution usually begin on my birthday.... but I am going to start today.....

I have so many other thoughts.... and opinions.... Brett Farve going to New York.... arrrgghhhh!

The beauty of the Olympics Opening events, amazing, politics, weddings, .......I'll be back here a lot this week I think !! If I don't put it off !!

Ciao