thank you's

I was not able to keep up as planned. The work was hard, and the days long. So at the end of the day blogging was not in my "things to do list". I did keep an off-line journal and I will post those thoughts as the the next few days go on. for now.... here are a couple entries of thanks to those people who really made a difference recently.... well quite honestly, that group includes all who dare enter here! Thank you for supporting me !

NEW YORK!! Monday 22 February 2010
Oh How I do love this town !!! I have often considered moving here. I know that every time I come I am here as a tourist, and manage to stay in the nicest of hotels… this time truly the best ! Ron Treated Cheri and I to a night in The Surrey !! OH MY GOODNESS. The absolute most luxurious sheets and comforters and towels and robes!! And best…. Hot water with decent water pressure that lasts throughout the shower! If you ever want to truly spoil yourself or someone you love with all the decadence of NYC this is it! On the corner of 5th Avenue and 76th . It is across the street from Michael Kors, a block from Vera Wangs ! and more. Betsy Johnson, The museum at ________ of design and Ralph Lauren. I did some retail damage. Cashmere socks, Scented oils and a few new books from a quaint privately owned bookstore! I felt so…. NEW YORK !!! Not to mention dinner at Bouden. New York’s Newest greatest chef! And so moderately priced. Granted the winter Menu on a Sunday night most likely was priced for the local crowd. The one big way in which I am so NOT New York. COLOR !! I swear I am the only redhead in this city this weekend. And I know that I was the only who dared wear anything but black or dark grey to dinner last night. I wore my bright green silk top with an ethnic (Ashanti) necklace. It was fun to turn a few heads at the restaurant because of my boldness. I have never been one to shy away from color or life.
Dinner itself was a unique experience. While the food was noteworthy. ( I had the veal three ways, Cheri has the Halibut). They started with three types of bread, a Fontina cheese ball appetizer and beef barley Soup with Shitake Mushrooms. It was our table side companions that offered the unique experience. The banquette style tables offer but 10 inches between guests. While you could politely turn away from the next set of diners, the two gentle men seated next to us, instead decided to engage us in conversation. For whatever reason, I was into the witty conversation of Mr Michael Salem. He is the cousin of Harvey Milk, and the proprietor of MicahelSalem.com, distributor of all things necessary for transgendered males and females. I guess I shocked Cheri a bit with our “what’s my line” type questioning and that I actually got to the correct answer before dessert was over for Michael and his dining companion Richard.
This morning, I treated myself to a much needed 60 minute facial. AHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. My skin has never been so clean, so soft. A stern reminder that I need to use a stronger eye cream and a moisturizer to keep the wrinkles away. They are just smile lines, but still… I must start immediately! Then a day on 5th Avenue. Mostly window shopping, but a few small purchases. And lunch at EAT. A SPINACH SALAD!!!!!!!!!!! FRESH SPINACH !!!!!!!!!!! Tomatoes, cheese, I think I momentarily dies and went to heaven. And a cappuccino, rich with foamed and steamed milk !! REAL MILK ! And TAP WATER that I could drink ! I am humbled over and over by what we here take for granted. The riches that we are given every day. The way we waste and use and toss aside what to others are invaluable. I am not so ignorant to assume that I will never discard uneaten dinners, or use the words…”there are starving children in Africa”. But I will be thankful in the graciousness of what I take for granted. That I can toss away a used ventilator circuit. That I can clean every piece of equipment thoroughly with disinfectant wipes. That I can wash my hands with SOAP between every patient.
Taking BLS will never seem mundane again. As I count out chest compressions to ventilations and gently, much more kindly remind residents and medical students to learn the proper way to count, compress, and resuscitate I will be ever mindful of the four unsuccessful coeds in 12 hours in Kumasi.
On to Jet Blue. The last leg of this incredible journey. My thanks to everyone involved. My debt to Ron and Cheri continues to grow. To Aubyn and Uday for choosing me to be a part of this team. To Carolyn, David, Giuseppe, and the surgeons for learning to trust me in less than 24 hours. To the others in Kumasi who worried and prayed and stood by me and worked with me. To the team in the ‘theater’. To all those who prayed and wished me well. To those who sent me facebook messages of encouragement. To those who contributed to the Well project. The team at KATH. The Cardiostart Group, and anyone else I have forgotten that made my dream come true.

To DANA & ALEX.
Never forget that HALF THE SKY is held up by Women in this world.
In the final pages of the book, Dr Jonathan Haight, a Psychologist at the University of Virginia discusses Happiness.
He interviewed and concluded that even among those people who suffered great personal loss, paraplegics and quadriplegics, a year after their injuries, they were no less or more happy than the year before. The only ONE thing that changed a person’s sustained happiness level was being part of something “bigger”. That it is an altruistic act for greater good that is the only thing that brings an increase in happiness one year later. That getting involved at some level, whether donating funds, writing letters, or actively participating in activities, was the surest way to improve your level of happiness. 10 months and 20 days after what I believe has been the hardest day in my life, I have completed a dream. I hope that on March 26 if someone asks me if I am happier than I was a year ago, I can honestly answer YES. That I will have accepted the happiness that comes from being part of an amazing experience and team of people who came together to make a difference in small corner of this world.
To Dana And Alex, THANK YOU! Thank you for the book. For all the words and facts and stories that are contained in the 250 + pages, I questioned, where is the message for me? I knew it would come. If not while reading the text, then in a moment of enlightenment at some distant point. But I never expected the words to be spelled out so clearly for me.
Dr. Dandekar and others were concerned about my inability to sleep. Not understanding the nightmares that kept me awake, and I was not willing to share with the group, I just implied that it was personal. Uday told me to open my heart to those around me. To accept that people were brought to Africa for a reason. That maybe one of my reasons was to heal. That maybe there was someone there to help me heal in a very real way.
I have shared my story with few. Some just know it. They are family and the closest of friends. Too close to help me heal. I know that sounds silly. Others, Tim for example, used the information to touch my vulnerable side. Is that why he got so close? Why he was able to hurt me so much? Why he continues to hurt me?
To Dr Uday Dandekar, THANK YOU, for making me open my eyes. To understand that life always looks different in 24 hours or 24 days or 24 months. For helping me understand that I need people to help me and that people will NOT continue to hurt me through this healing process. That denying my pain, my own reality is not the way to deal with it. To helping me learn again to trust someone in this world that has a quick smile, a gentle hug and eyes that follow me across the room. You have given me more than you will ever begin to understand.
To Dr Zev Davis and Michel, Thank you for the final words, that life will work itself out. I now know it will.
To you, my friend. I hope you did not toss the key chain into the sea Saturday morning. I hope you continue to find the patience to overcome your own struggles. I will always be your friend. I will always admire you. And I will always owe you the greatest depth of my gratitude. For you have given me the greatest of gifts. Your friendship, your trust, and you have returned to me what I had lost, my ability to trust someone.