Survival.....

I have survived the "week". The trip to Wenatchee was good. I hadn't seen Susie or Brad for a year, Ted since July. It was good to catch up. Thankfully there is a wedding planned for this July, so I should see them all then.

I have been off work for a week...trying to deal with my life. I have been up and down. In all honesty, mostly down, but I think I did OK. Friends and family helped tons.

Why is it some people do not understand, when you do not want to talk about it. When you just want them to understand.

I am glad I missed work, PICU has been a sad place this week. Sometimes it is like that. Little angels moving on to heaven. It never seems to make sense, especially sweet children.

I have always believed that there is a master plan, that everyone is born with a purpose, even if it does not reveal itself to us. Maybe someone learned something, maybe a person felt something they had never felt before, maybe it brought a family together, maybe....maybe..... every life has a purpose, even if it is not obvious to everyone around them.

I've never seen WICKED, Pam shared these words with 'us'... the 'us' that makes up the world of PICU at OHSU...my other family.... people who do understand... sometimes more than others....

I'VE HEARD IT SAID
THAT PEOPLE COME INTO OUR LIVES FOR A REASON
BRINGING SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN
AND WE ARE LED
TO THOSE WHO HELP US MOST TO GROW
IF WE LET THEM
AND WE HELP THEM IN RETURN
WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT'S TRUE
BUT I KNOW I'M WHO I AM TODAY
BECAUSE I KNEW YOU...

IT WELL MAY BE
THAT WE WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN
IN THIS LIFETIME
SO LET ME SAY BEFORE WE PART
SO MUCH OF ME
IS MADE OF WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU
YOU'LL BE WITH ME
LIKE A HANDPRINT ON MY HEART
AND NOW WHATEVER WAY OUR STORIES END
I KNOW YOU HAVE RE-WRITTEN MINE
BY BEING MY FRIEND...

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU
I HAVE BEEN CHANGED FOR GOOD...


to those who are suffering new losses and remembering old.... for those who are and always will be my friends...and family.... thank you....

because I knew you, I have been changed for the good.....

Ciao

marie