Sunday .....

Good afternoon world.

As the first quarter comes to an end the Packers still lead the game... Come on Aaron !! While I am a good fan during the season, I love the playoffs!! And this game and they are on to the Superbowl. OOOOOOoooooooooooo I hope they can hang on for the win !

But that is not what brings me here today.

I rousted myself out of bed ... actually for the first time this year I popped out of bed early. My Sunday routine has become going to church. I have really not been feeling well the weeks leading up to today. But the Sunshine yesterday really helped me heal !!

But it was a bit of a mistake.

I have been going to mass partly out of obligation as Angi has asked me to be her sponsor this Easter as she completes her Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. Today the bishops asked the priests to wear the Purple vestments that are normally reserved for Advent and Lent.
The colour represents preparation, penitence and prayer. Purple can symbolise pain and suffering, and mourning and penitence. So why today?
Apparently yesterday was the 38th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision in Roe V Wade. Pro life vs pro Choice.
This view of the Catholic Church is one of the things that drove me away. Now, I know all the arguments, and I am thankful that I never was faced with any type of those decisions. but, I believe that God gave us all FREE WILL. Everyone of us, women and men. How can a religion run by men tell women what choice they have to make. The Catholic church doesn't see the pain of unwanted children when their daddies and mommies beat them or shake them. They do not see the burden of raising a 23 weeker. health Care, religion, my mind, me decisions. This is the root of the struggle that I have with the religion I was raised with.
Last night I watched Tom Ford's A Single Man. interesting film.... but the opening lines when Colin Firth is first waking, I could have written them. The pain a year
(or in my case two)of loosing your partner. Wondering every day if you can go on. Now the good news, I feel good. I do not think I am dying, but some days I wonder why.... why why why.... I feel so grateful to have had that one great love ! I know I do not deserve another chance at a love like that. But I crave it. Crave it like nothing I have ever known before. But I crave my own life more. right now I cannot have it all. One step at a time. I have made my decision. I have a plan. I rarely really have plans. How many times in my life have I had a plan only to have it changed by love or "fate"... or that mojo I call 'everything happens for a reason'. that is how I ended up in Portland for 30 years.
Well... so you see Sunday in my world.. Football, Religion, and my core beliefs... all in the air as the first half comes to an end.

I wonder what the week will bring !