Life has a way

Of turning into a three ring circus.

I thought I had a calm week planned. Then I glanced at the things I am behind on list. OMG !!!

So Here I sit Friday morning, my Starbucks in hand and I am ready to face the last two days of the weekend.

I have to start with PT. This week marks the one week point, I feel better, but definitely am walking funny. I feel the strength building more in one leg than the other. Always seems to be the case with me. Yesterday after two days of 12 hours on the Pediatric ward I was wiped out and could barely do my hip lifts. So yesterday was my day of rest.

Today is my day of work. The house, the pond, tomorrow, I want to attack another tree. and the taxes. In between, the taxes.

Once again I am awaiting the bids from the painting contractors. I guess email requests do not work for people who have web sites. I will call them this week.

Somehow I have managed to book myself solid for the next two weeks. Five nights in a row this week, with dentist, PT, and personal grooming appointments. Three nights the next again with multiple appointments. the next week 6 nights.... and still more appointments. Well.... it will keep me busy. And the pay check plentiful.

I am booking the May and July trips this weekend. and then waiting.
Waiting waiting waiting.... not something I do well actually.

Work is driving many of us crazy. The flurry of activity the proceeds our managers annual evaluations has begun. It is crazy working in an environment where we are heavily relied on, yet often NOT supported for the same reported expertise. Its one of those "we want you when we want you" sort of things, and "you better be there when we need you.... oh and you better do what we want you to do whether it is the right thing or not", but if you want to actually offer an expert opinion, well, no thank you. You are not needed for an opinion. Our management seems ill prepared to speak intelligently about what the staff is or isn't prepared to do or offer. They seem to think our primary service is to serve the simple needs of others. "deliver equipment to the bedside". Really... untrained transportation aides can do that. I have 9 years of advanced education behind me. I can do more than deliver equipment to the bedside.
I realize, that as a department, we can only offer what the lowest common denominator is capable of. Then raise the lowest common denominator. People do not want to learn because they see how those of us with the knowledge are treated, not just by other staff, but by our own management.
Management has proposed an incentive ladder. only one person is eligible for the highest incentive. I am fortunate, I am that person. But in reality, it could be denied me on a simple true technicality. One of the criteria is a PERFECT EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS in all sections of the performance evaluation. Now I know I am good. After 20 + years I deserve a bonus of $1500.00 promised in the proposed system, but my masters is over 20 years old. AND, I do not believe that I exceed expectations in all points of the performance evaluation. That means I have no area to improve in. WOW.... If I am that good I do deserve the $1500.00 and more. But there are areas I can improve in. I have chosen NOT to stay current in half of the population that we serve. Adult care. I do not know the steps of performing an SBT on an adult patient. I doubt I could do Illoprost without assistance. I cannot set up iNO without reading the procedure and charge responsibilities, the once a year I perform those duties I always forget something. So the reward system boils down to one persons final evaluation of my performance. If he chooses to give me one MEETS the EXPECTATIONS, or NEEDS IMPROVEMENT then the $1500.00 is gone like the wind. and based on that criteria alone, no one deserves the bonus. It is an unfortunate program and not at all the one designed by those of us who put in the work to develop a program that might actually motivate people to care and improve themselves.
So why care....
Because I am me....
But, I am being beaten down. MD's ignoring best practice models, APA guidelines, performing lab experiments on our littlest of patients. It is definitely time to move on. The grass may not be greener over a different fence, but at least I won't know how it is mowed there.

So life moves forward. at a snails pace it seems some days. and then I look at that infamous list of things I am behind on and I see how it is flying by !

Later....