Ferntucky...

What an interesting place....Fernley NV really, but so filled with immigrants and what nots they refer to themselves as Ferntuckians...things happen slowly there, and well all in all a little to Conservative for me. Now don't get me wrong....I am not talking politics here.... I am talking life style. My Solstice was conspicuously flashy and out of place, the three casinos in Fernley ( everywhere is a 'casino') are obnoxiously family friendly as long as a parent is present....but the trip was not about that.....

The trip in my mind had three goals.... all of which I accomplished...

10.5 hours there, 11 hours back ( a 1/2 stop for dinner) gave me time to think, reflect, cry remember...all those things. Never once did I think about work....amazing as that is what seems to give my life purpose most days. That discovery in itself was eyeopening. Just thinking...no planning, no what ifs....just songs on the radio that made me think , cry, love....The picture above is one of about five covered bridges you see from Highway 58 through Lane County Oregon....

Letting Ted know he is and always will be my 'son'. He feared that I would drop out of his life....won't happen, he is too important to me, if for no other reason that he is the living proof of his father. After the funeral he had wanted nothing, just a sweatshirt.... but I knew as time wore on he would need little pieces....so I found some things that will help him never forget.

That is an odd phenomena.... I am truly honored to give "things" to people....I had Ted for 28 years.... if they want things to hold onto.... that is good....but then....filling the spaces ....I don't really fill them.... well some I have to..... but we gathered so much STUFF..... yet it feels odd giving bits of him away....yet so humbled to do so.....I seemed to pick the right stuff for Ted.... he seemed pleased.

Lastly, to give Ted a sense of how much his Father really loved him. One regret I have....not pushing more...but those two stubborn men.... they knew....they knew the love that bonds father and son....without words...but theirs was a unique situation....every ones is....I know the story, I can put it together for them...but not the feeling.... not the tears that i saw Him shed over decisions made now a lifetime ago.

My personal "belief" remains that there is a fine line between fate and choice. We must make do with what fate or the consequence of our choices bring ....Ted was never one to issue regrets....no time for what ifs or wish it was different.... it is what it is..... lets deal with it.

Ted was a tangled complicated man who made his life look simple and complete.... and that was how he died....he had resolved his issues... And hoped that those around him had resolved theirs with him. He is at peace.....

So I think I accomplished much of this....I need/want to spend more time with both Ted and Susie so they can learn even more....My wish would be for them to spend some time with his brothers and Jo.... then they could learn about a Ted even I never knew...and only now am just learning about.

you know i had this same "issue" when mom died, when making Fred's book.... our memories of someones life are only that part that we shared with them. When Mom died there were beautiful framed collages of moms life.....after Florida.....but there were 50 years of memories prior to that....but the beauty and the love of those framed memorials were that persons tribute to my mom. I wish I had thought to make my own.... for my best memories were all pre Florida....in my childhood home on 71st.

When making 60 years of Fred....similar gaps exist....rightly so...as we all grew.... he was off to Naperville, Germany, Boca, and then as the entire Fromm clan matured.... as with all families....we have reunited in a way....

Don't say it will not happen to you..... maybe in this age of instant messaging, twitter, facebook, blogging.... less likely.... but gaps in family history are an important part of family development....

mom and dad may not have liked it... and with all their might they fought it.... Sundays were spent on the phone calling each of us in reverse age succession.....

but families....don't ever let them get away...

tell them everyday you love them

and do it...!!! love them the best way you know how....

I love you all....