RESOLUTIONS

I have made a few..... this is the second year in a row. In '09 I made two. One I succeeded completely at, the other I failed miserably, without even a feeble attempt to try to keep. This year I made six. so, 50 % would be good. that is how I figure it.
One, " a movie a month.... IN a THEATER".... So far I am good. I went to see NINE last night. and then came home and watched Shadowlands. A new and dear friend gave me the copy of Shadowlands, just before I left for Colorado. We watched it there, but I fell asleep before the end. So I needed to rewatch. There are words, scenes really..... that ring so very true with me. Much of the movie has to do with loss, and the feelings of emptiness. Even in the middle of the movie before he realizes he is in love. The scene about how CS Lewis feels between winter and spring. I dread that time of year. It will be here soon. But the truth of the movie is that the pain of now makes the happiness of then even happier. It is a way of saying that time makes the memories all be good ones. It is so true. The three biggest losses of my life.... those relationships all look even better from today. Hell, growing up I thought Daddy could do no wrong.... now my view and memory of him is frighteningly saintly. As for NINE. The musicality and the choreography is phenomenal. The story is scarily Hollywood, and most likely Broadway and even European theater/director/actress. Don't think you are getting a beautiful light and happy Musical fantasy if you go..... but ALL the women are amazing.... lusty, fun and in a word I already used -- phenomenal. The story.... not so much. Fergie is barely recognizable, and Kate Hudson.... well if you can't tell she is Goldie Hawns daughter.... you have never seen Laugh In. and the Matriarch.... Sophia Loren..... the most beautiful woman Italia ever produced.... I should look half that good at her age.
Other resolutions include "staying involved". I vow to redo the reworked Asthma Protocol. The MD's who wrote the RT protocol.... I know that does not sound right, and it is not.... that is the root of the problem. ...well, through a good manager and a caring staff....we can get this fixed. I believe we can... we will... and I will work hard to make this happen.
I spent part of the day sorting and cleaning the RT supplies at the CARDIOSTART "warehouse". It just feels good. I so need to stay involved.... not let Africa be a one shot deal. Whether I return to Ghana in the future (very likely) or work with other sites..... this IS a passion of mine.... I want to do more.
Travel more.... OK..its only January.... and a friend and I are thinking of a short weekend trip to explore some unknown corner of Oregon or Washington before I leave for Africa. and now thanks again to Ron and Cheri and the fact that I live on the wrong coast, I might spend a day on both ends of Africa in NYC. ((Why is it I get chills EVERY time I here Alicia Keyes Sing those words....))??? IS NYC in my future? 'concrete jungle where dreams are made of'..... even for a season, a year, .... who knows.
read more.... I am into two books.... with a third sitting on my desk. It truly has become my guilty passion. Sitting idle reading.... seems so decadent. There is always an email to be answered, an article to review, a letter to write, a drawer to be sorted..... so sitting with my feet up and reading..... it feels so luxurious. Of course I still read my foolish girl novels while trudging along at 3.3 mph for 30 minutes on that evilest of devices...the treadmill. I had gotten up to 15 minutes on the elliptical, but two weeks away from it.... ( bad girl).... I will start back after Africa. I have modified my workout for the next 26 days. Increased the treadmill to 45 minutes, legs and core, and of course the upper back thing for my neck/stress. After I return I think I am going to invest in a month of personal trainer. Not so much to kick start my workouts, but to target them. I believe core is the answer, but I am after increasing my driving distance....
don't bitch..... well.... hmmmmm I am really trying! But this is the hardest one. Things are so dissatisfying at work. The union and management seem to be working together to dismantle any progress on employee autonomy and satisfaction. Lord knows I always have an opinion.... and unfortunately it often comes out as a complaint or "bitch".... but even Cheri is aware that if I were "Queen of everything" life would be different.
be a better friend.... wow...lets set a lofty goal. Being a friend carries alot of responsibilities. Loan a car, help with a hug or a shoulder or an ear. Or sometimes, it means telling or hearing the truth without consequence. I have tried each of these this year, with different people I consider friends.
I guess, I want to be a better me. The old eat healthy, exercise more, sleep more, party less (LMAO)that all goes along with this. I need to be a better me. I need to be proud of me. I need to keep all 6 of my resolutions...not 50%. So if you read this and think I am failing at one of them, be a friend, tell me. help me.... It's 2010.... Time to enjoy life. I have worked hard for this life. I will continue to do so. I deserve to enjoy it. I want to smile, not be angry, I want to be a better me.