May ???

Wow... I cannot believe it has been forever since I logged in. So much time. I guess the lack of visit to this place in my world means that things are "well". I am never sure these days if that is true.
Busy yes... and busy times keep me occupied and usually mean they keep me happy !

Happy.... yes, I can generally say I am happy...for the moment

To start....where I left off....

The Black Eyed Peas Concert was AWESOME !!! of course the 9 friends that joined me made the event all the more fun.... and the beers and the great seats and the weekend away.... all in all it was special and GREAT.... I love love love live music events !!

So for each aspect of my life....

House: things are coming along nicely. Slow, but nicely.... Garage door in, but I need to call, I think I want to change to white inserts. The other doors... I need to check on. This weekend is supposed to be great weather wise so I am off for three days and garden garden garden it is. Now i am tempted.... and likely will be enticed into a golf game, if even by myself....but I AM GETTING MY YARD READY AND DONE...there is always a lot each spring, but it will come together quickly I hope.

Work.... ughhh..it is work. I need to gain some discipline and work an extra shift or two.... ( see the next couple items).... but all in all the frustrations remain, I am just letting them go. It is too much to worry my head about.... no reason. I just get irritated. Others need to do their job.... so I can do mine. It's all good.

Outside work -work.... hmmm Cardiostart .... I need to get some things going/done. that is what this weekends evenings are for. Reports, plans, projects.... I need to meet with Aubyn to really figure out what I can/want to do in the future. Vietnam? Africa? Europe???

Travel.... I really need to sit down and figure this all out. I want to go to New York.... original plan was for August Shoe show.... but what about October? Ron IS getting that award.... August might just be St Louis.... and Aspen? For SURE I am going to Florida for Christmas.... that I am going to book right after summer rates drop. Then there is the trip to the UK. London to see Carolyn, hopefully visit with some other MD's there. maybe a side trip.... Paris?

Love life.... hmmmmmm its good. Its not so good..... S and I are up and down. I am unsure of what I want , what I need. Neither us is ready or willing to move to the next real step of commitment, but after six months.... we both feel the pressure to not just stay status quo.... but it works for me.... 90% of the time. but, then I want to travel.... alone, I want to see friends, work in the yard, .... but then I want him to be available to me when I want him.... hmmmm seems I want it all. I want to in control. LOL. And that is news to who??

So...Life.... its OK. I miss my family, I miss Ted. I miss the easy way things used to be. we just moved through time and space and never seemed to miss a beat for more than a step or two. I know that is not completely true.... but it is more true than not. or so it seems 14 months beyond the end.

So for now....

Spring may actually be here, I am doing what I need to do for me. S seems to be OK with that. and Life is Good. I smile most days and cry a few.

Ciao