Three Weeks.....

Akoma is a symbol of love, patience and endurance and is one of the Adinkra symbols from Ghana which is depicted by the image of a heart.



Unbelievable. This is the point in time when everything becomes surreal to me! Three weeks ago,Today, I was in NYC, then heading to Africa. A life time has happened in those three weeks.
Two weeks ago, our first case in Kumasi, one week ago, all the cases were done, today....
I am such a different person. Inside.
Oh, I am still a procrastinator.... my lawn is unmowed, my taxes undone, I am barely unpacked. I need time to decompress. Inside something has changed.

The nightmare is gone. Was I able to leave it on a beach in Africa. I close my eyes and his blue eyes are still there, but now they are filled with love and understanding not fear and disbelief. I no longer hear the words over the phone. I no longer shudder when the phone rings. Was saying the words out loud enough? Did I throw the hurt to Orion in the Southern Sky? whatever it was or is, I hope the nightmare never returns.

I still am a restless sleeper.... or so I am told. I think that may never change...I never have been a lay in one place kind of sleeper.

Three weeks away. I learned that I can do this. I know that I do not want to be alone. I figured that out earlier this year. But Africa taught me that I can find the "one". In the meantime.... sigh.
A friend here in Portland to keep my mind busy, and fill the space in my life. Unfortunately, he does not fill the emptiness. How do you explain that. We met under a unique situation. It was not meant to even be a friendship. We had different plans, a different attraction. But then.... he ended up 'liking me'. And I him. The sad fact.... I want more. He is not it. How do you tell someone that. How do you go back to being alone, when in the meantime there is someone to occupy a place that needs an occupant. I am wrong I know. Give me time. I will do what is right.

maybe this is all just a distraction. If I can get my life back I will feel better. This weekend I am making a list. and I am putting myself at the top.

many would believe that is all I have done for the past twelve months. Only took care of myself. but I do not feel that way. I have merely existed. I have not cared for me. I have made sure that I remained in motion. afraid to stop. Afraid to pause. It is a good way to exist when pain is in silence and stillness. My head is never quiet, my nerves are never still.

so, for now..... I will protect my heart, my head. I will make plans, and time to move forward for me. What does that mean. I'll let you know next week. This weekend is about finding me and my dreams. I grasp my Ashanti necklace, the symbol for patience. Symbolically it resembles a heart, it tells me that for my heart to find happiness, I must be patient.

I will embrace Patience. Not one of my strong suits. but I must.

sigh

Africa

WOW... I really cannot believe I am doing this !!
I know I went to Panama, but that seems so long ago, so safe, I went with an entire team of people I knew. Thankfully, these people seem just as wonderful and Cheri has provided me the ultimate safety net!!! How exciting is it that she is going, too!! To share this with family is going to be the best!! Of course, what happens in Africa stays in Africa.... hahaha!!!

Seriously, people are asking....so here are some of the details

The organization is Cardiostart. www.cardiostart.org

We Will fly from JFK in New york on Thursday February 5, and Arrive in ACCRA, Ghana at 735 AM. According to Delta, the flight is 10 hours 25 minutes, covering 5100 air miles.

that night ( Friday and Saturday) we will be staying with part of the team in the Golden Tulip Hotel. It looks really nice!! We will spend the free time touring Accra. We have no idea what we will be doing. Accra is on the Ivory Coast of Africa. This is where the Majority of the slave trade originated. It also is one of the centers of diamond and gold trade. ...who knows what Cheri and I will find to bring home!
On Sunday the 7th we travel to Kumasi. this is the second largest city in Ghana. There the World Bank Fund built a new hospital two years ago. This same organization ( and some of the same people) went last February!The Hospital is Konfo Anokye Teaching Hospital (KATH). While there the team will likely be doing 8 pacemaker placement and up to about 2 dozen additional surgeries. In addition I will be involved in daily educational lectures and helping in the ER. In Kumasi we will stay courtesy of the hospital at the SUNSET HOTEL. Cheri will be doing outreach at the Kumasi orphanage and local school. Part of her project will be helping with a water filtration system for the orphanage. As well as identifying the needs for future outreach programs in Kumasi.
We get time off during the week if we need it, and the weekend we are free to travel. Ghana is not really known for its Safari's or "beautiful scenery". But the Ashanti people are crafted artisans and I am sure we will find beauty in what ever we get to see or do.
We travel back to Accra Feb 20, and Cheri and I depart for NYC on Feb 21. arriving around 430 PM. We are treating ourselves to a fun night in NYC at a new Hotel out on Long Island, the Allegria Hotel and Spa. Cheri will head home Monday morning and I fly out later that day. arriving in Portland at 2300 PM. My plan was to see an old friend that I haven't seen for ten years, but fate would have it that he is traveling out of town the very day I arrive!! So, I will spend the day in NYC chilling and acclimating to US soil!
I return to work Tuesday night !

I plan to meet Portland friends at Skamania Lodge Friday night for the Cascade Harvest Buffet. Let me know if you want to join us !! EVERYONE is invited... I want to see everyone.... and I won't bore you with the 100000 pictures I plan on taking.... unless of course you want me to ! Seriously.... leave me a message on facebook or my cell phone if you can make it Friday February 26!!

I plan on taking my laptop and will be updating the blog regularly hopefully nightly... and posting pics here and on facebook! I am leaving my cell phone "OFF"... international calls are too $$$$ for me !

Enough people will have my emergency contact info, you know the usual Fred, Ron, Charlene, Jennifer, Susie and Ted. If you really feel you need me and can't wait for me to log on to facebook contact one of them for my info.

So...that is the beginning of the story!! Next post will likely be from a plane somewhere over the US in the middle of the night or over the Atlantic!!

For those of you who don't read Blogs very often, by clicking on the highlighted words, it will take you to a link I have chosen for that word or sentence. sometimes it is a picture, sometimes more info, sometimes....just something silly.

Hope you enjoy and thanks for taking this journey with me.... feel free to leave comments here too !!