Let me worry for you.....

Well, tomorrow starts the next chapter of hospitals, procedures and what I plan on being back on the road to recovery for the man. Pray for us !!

The other evening, worried and scared, he could not sleep. Worried he said. More worried than ever before. That strikes me as odd. Lets see, heart, carotid arteries, carrying blood flow to the brain, tracheotomy, major oral/neck surgery, minor complication that takes him back to the OR.... and a routine cath ( angio) to his legs has him worried. I believe it is fear of loss of mobility. Mobility equates freedom for many of us. The simple act of walking ....even knowing you can leave a scene or situation....change locals even if it just down the hall.... that freedom of space.... he fears losing that. I understand....no I really don't.... but I try.

I'll work tonight, meet him at the hospital in the AM and go from there. My solace, as always... my own escape!! I thought of staying home.... but I am a talker, he....the silent thoughtful one. My talking doesn't help him at times like this.

Some of you may only learn of this plan....for Angio, then OR, here. He choose not to tell those in his family. "no need to worry them...they have enough on their plates". He knows of this blog, doesn't read it.....claims he lives it, doesn't need to read about it.... He knows I will write about it. It is my release of the feelings, the thoughts that crowd my head. So, I apologize for those that learn of this here.... call him, but don't be angry.... you know him .... never wanting "pity"...but needing prayers, support.

We laugh.... news only of health and ailments....makes us feel old. We used to talk about the 'old people' who had little to share except their latest foray into the world of medicine and hospitals....now we are those 'old people'. We smile.... some days feeling older than others.

So for now, for the immediate future, I take my place on 'the other side of the bed'. The uncomfortable side for me. I do better as the care giver, not the consumer of healing. Pray for me, and those who I encounter over the next few days ....

be well.