Family, Life....

I am missing my family greatly this week. I talked with John most recently, and I keep up to date-ish via facebook with the others...but I need them...and am missing them. I can't hardly wait until I at least get a bit of time with Ron and Cheri in Aspen... and hopefully more of them in October at the wedding.
I fortunately have Ted's brothers here...so the Friday dinner with the the three brothers, me and Cathy was a great distraction...from life.

I decided on a furnace... and water heater.... they are to be installed in two weeks. ( of course after the 100+ heat expected this weekend ) I hope the AC can cool adequately.

The 'wet spot' has turned into a puddle and thanks to the 'Winks' Family.... Jim and Joey and Slim... there seems to be a leak in the valve in the water main between the meter and the house. Although they thought the fix was quick and easy, it appears not so, and they...or at least Jim, the only one left in town...will return this weekend to repair it. Thank God for friends and family. I had no idea what it was... just that it could not be good. The repair will happen quickly.

Now sad news seems inevitable for me. Phantom, my old kitty, seems to not be doing well. He has been truly miserable since March. Missing Ted as much or more than me. I have to coax him to eat. and he rarely comes home, choosing instead to hide away from me and the other cat. He looks skinnier than ever and tonight even his breathing looks labored. I will nurse him through the weekend and and if necessary take him to the vet on Monday.... that is a task I DO NOT WANT. hopefully he will turn around with some much needed close attention.

I have been distracted.... on purpose mostly...traveling, out to dinner, visits with friends, even an impromptu road trip to Seaside.... all to keep my mind busy and out of the loneliness and poor me route.

All too often, I feel the tears well in my soul. I sat at the beach and cried...wondering if I would ever be really happy again.... I mean really happy.... that deep in your soul content happy. I hope so, because for now that feeling is eluding me, and I wish it would return.

I will go to the rock tomorrow...no flowers... it is to get to over 100 for the next three days... they will just wither in the heat, but to spend time with my love. It is so weird to me that I feel most at peace there... closest to him. Of course I have not returned to The Resort.... maybe later....

some days I just wish i could curl into the tiniest of balls and cry for hours. tonight is one of those.....