I know I stopped writing around Ted's Birthday. That became the turning point in the fall. When the reality of my aloneness struck me like a bolt of lightening.
I knew fall wuld be hard.... my birthday, the day we met, our first kiss, his birthday, our first trip to the beach,..... then Halloween...our special treats and tricks..... on to a quiet and romantic Thanksgiving. Always the tenderest of the holidays we shared. Christmas with all its excpectations, and then the ringing in the New Year. ALl happiest when shared with the one you love above all others. I did that. In my own quiet way. I cried at every event, every celebration. Touched his spot behind my ear to feel its warmth, knowing he was with me. Family and Friends carried me through the days wit smiles, and ignored the creis of angst when the lights went out.
Aspen is truly delightful this time of year. It helps that we have friends and families that like to spoil us. And I have some tricks to give back. Cooking and Baking, my joy.... the joy I shared with Ted.... and Mom.... three hearts that shared one passion and I can continue to give. I LOVE IT !! It makes me feel needed, special somehow, different, unique and wonderful.
I have been putting on the happiest of faces. I am happy.... things, over all are good. I am traveling to Africa. Excited, nervous, and thrilled. Other trips planned... March in Reno or Wenatchee to be with family on the 1 st Anniversary, Cheri and Doe for Wine Tasting... then me to St Louis for the dedication. New York in August.... maybe a weekend in Aspen.....I'd love to figure Wisconsin in t picture.,,,and Florida in winter,
For now.... the sleepy drugs are taking affect. I will blog here, again..More real feelings, more real activity..... More honest Marie,,bare and vulnerable @@@\\\\\\\\\\\\\
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